hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

spunkydads:

the problem with rich people is that i am not one

(Source: spunkypapa)

actualucifer:

AND DON’T

FUCKING

TELL PEOPLE

THAT THEY’RE NOT TRYING

BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW IF THEY’RE TRYING OR NOT

JUST BECAUSE IT DOESN’T LIVE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE NOT TRYING

(Source: luciforeal)

what-if-i-was-funny:

sawmuchded:

theprincessdiana:

can you paint with all the colors of the wind
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alright picasso calm down

(Source: yzma)

Turn Ons:

  • Intimacy. Hold my waist. Stroke my neck. Kiss my forehead. Hold my hand. 
  • Maturity. Patience is amazing. A prize will come to you when the time is right. Its called falling in love. Waiting is hard. But worth it. 
  • Honesty. I don’t care what you’ve done. I care about what you will do in the future. Be honest with me, I’ll be honest with you. 
  • Care. Because not many people give a crap about anything anymore.

(Source: itskaiii)

ouhime:

"hey you know school’s coming up right??"

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"you need to start on your summer homework!!"

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"you need to start thinking about your grades in the long run and working harder!!"

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"you need to start applying to colleges!!"

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